General / Miscellaneous

CHANGE RINGING

The language of bell-ringing.
"...Sally stroke, tail stroke, handstroke and ropesight
Bell cages, skeleton courses, steeple keepers, call-changes
Ringing records and counting places..."

SPEAKING STOPS
The language of pipe organs.
"Speakers, feeders, beaters, treadles, steppers and trackers;
Bird Whistle, Crash Cymbal
Tromba Bastarda, Dotzena Nazarda, Tibia Vulgaris and Vox Humana..."

DISARMED
The unique language of heraldry. See below for full version.
"...Bevelled, membered, beaked and belled
Glissant, trippant, caboshed and cowed.
Gorged, jessed, vested and cuffed
Volant, vulning, fructed and tufted..."

YOU!
A page of ways to berate a flighty young man (without recourse to the use of unpleasant language).
"You cad, you charmer, you charlatan, you chancer;
  You varlet, you enchanter, you downright disarmer..."

BLASTING BARNACLES
Dental terminology, taken out of clinical context.
" ...Temporo-mandibular dysfunction, interfering with enjoyment of luncheon..".

BICYCLE CLIPPINGS
Cycling terminology, sociology and simultaneities.
"...Punctures at junctions and punctuation at junctures.."

38 EUPHEMISMS FOR BEIGE
A collection of thirty-eight (so far!) misguided attempts by marketers to make beige sound desirable or evocative.
"Tan, natural, nude, nomad, camel, labrador..."

THE YOUNG PERSONS' GUIDE TO THE ORCHESTRA 
Music and instruments, real and misheard.
"Sackbuts and strumpets, crumhorns and serpents..."

SUITS YOU!
The (apparent) language of apparel.
"...Rigged in britches and wimples, skirtled in kirtles and filibegs..."

DISH OF THE DAY
Spoofs and spoonerisms of culinary language.
"...Spliced brawns and streaming squallops, herring impaired and cod wallops..."

LINGO BONKA
IKEA product names - innocent words in Swedish, but harsh or comical to the English ear.
"Klang, Frack, Kludd, Slabang..."