Nonsense

PULLING RABBITS OUT OF HATS  (see below for full version)
Very loosely inspired by a spoonerism of the title, i.e. 'pulling habits out of rats'.
"...Loose rafters and shifty seamstresses, collapsing apses and matching head-dresses..."

DOODLING
Nonsensical and semi-sensical tongue twisters.
"...Do you doodle by dawdling when drawing
  Dawdle by doodling when walking
  The way a wren warbles by wobbling when whistling..."

Pulling Rabbits out of Hats

Masterful fastenings and classy claspings
Catching latches and lasting attachments.
It’s a matter of substance, a clatter of subsidence
A hatter of consequence, an architect of incompetence.

It’s a matter of pulling habits out of rats
Tomtits out of top hats
Of losing handkerchieves up sleeves,
Of sewing garments onto patches.

A matter of pulling rabbits out of hutches
Getting clutter out of clutches
Buttressing a building with crutches
Hattening the batches
And stitching up the gutters.

Blasted clasps and clinging hinges
Snapping gadgets and passing detachments;
Loose rafters and shifty seamstresses
Collapsing apses and matching head-dresses.
It’s a matter of tampering with distortions,
Fidgeting with digits
And making fritters out of fortunes.

A matter of matters outstanding and matters arising
Of the latter crescending and clatter subsiding
A matter of tearing the tat to tatters
A matter of wondering, what all the matter is?

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None of the above is true.

The phrase ‘Masterful Fastenings’ was however observed on the frontage of an
architectural ironmongery shop near Brent Cross.

© Germander Speedwell 2005