Nonsense

PULLING RABBITS OUT OF HATS  (see below for full version)

Very loosely inspired by a spoonerism of the title, i.e. 'pulling habits out of rats'.

"...Loose rafters and shifty seamstresses, collapsing apses and matching head-dresses..."

DOODLING

Nonsensical and semi-sensical tongue twisters.

"...Do you doodle by dawdling when drawing

  Dawdle by doodling when walking

  The way a wren warbles by wobbling when whistling..."

Pulling Rabbits out of Hats

Masterful fastenings and classy claspings

Catching latches and lasting attachments.

It’s a matter of substance, a clatter of subsidence

A hatter of consequence, an architect of incompetence.

It’s a matter of pulling habits out of rats

Tomtits out of top hats

Of losing handkerchieves up sleeves,

Of sewing garments onto patches.

A matter of pulling rabbits out of hutches

Getting clutter out of clutches

Buttressing a building with crutches

Hattening the batches

And stitching up the gutters.

Blasted clasps and clinging hinges

Snapping gadgets and passing detachments;

Loose rafters and shifty seamstresses

Collapsing apses and matching head-dresses.

It’s a matter of tampering with distortions,

Fidgeting with digits

And making fritters out of fortunes.

A matter of matters outstanding and matters arising

Of the latter crescending and clatter subsiding

A matter of tearing the tat to tatters

A matter of wondering, what all the matter is?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

None of the above is true.

The phrase ‘Masterful Fastenings’ was however observed on the frontage of an

architectural ironmongery shop near Brent Cross.

© Germander Speedwell 2005